Opinion time!
Last week, my husband and I went to a Hammerfall and Sabaton concert with some friends. I wasn’t extremely familiar with the bands, but I knew a bit about Sabaton and that they sing about martial history exclusively. That made me interested and I do intend to use their music for homeschool enrichment in the future. But there are a few things I noticed about this experience with new eyes as a #boymom in particular.
B has always reminded me that boys require an outlet for violence. I get it, and I’m happy to let him play rough with the boys (cos while mothers are awesome, we aren’t fathers!). I remember my Dad telling us about how he was visiting with a young man who was a co-worker many years ago. They were discussing Metallica and Dad told him “It sounds like they are angry.” and the young man said “YES!!!” like that was the point. My dad used to (ok he still does…) listen to loud rock music as a teenager/young adult as well – Styx is his favorite! But to him, this Metallica sounded angry. (Sorry Dad, it’s just that the genre has changed a little..but you did the same thing with your music!) Now they’re listening to Sabaton and stuff like that. BUT, here is something I noticed in this “angry music”…. it’s more like a righteous anger. Even Jesus was angry – but he used it to glorify God. (That’s another topic…) Sabaton’s songs are about war, violent men, their victories, and their heroic sacrifices. They cover all sides of the World Wars, not limiting to the “winners” perspectives. The boys love their song “Sparta” and it makes us giggle every time they call it “the hooha song”.
When we got there, we had to wait in line for a long time. We watched people. The audience was 90% male. They were ages 20s to 60s, I’d guess. All levels of health and wellness: some looked like they definitely jammed to this at the gym regularly, some looked like they should eat a salad… Listening to their conversations, they discussed video games, the jobs they hated, the jobs they loved, how they wished the band sold bigger sizes than 3x shirts. The couple women I saw all gave each other significant glances as if to say “I see you, we’re here for our men who wanted to come. I hope I don’t get stepped on.” There were no women there without a man. By all accounts it seemed like any ordinary rock concert. Pretty fun, people excited to drink beer, see a good show, and go home. The venue was completely sold out (as are most of their other shows on this tour!), and I’m sure everyone was grateful the Fire Marshall didn’t show up because it was likely over capacity, or at least right at! Normal for a weekend, right? This was a TUESDAY, with no holiday on either side to give it a “long weekend” type feel. A TUESDAY. B took the whole week off work and we made a mini-vacation of it.
So, with all that context, here’s where the analysis/opinion/getting words out comes into play:
When the lights went low and the music started these men changed. Posture. Eyes. Chin. Arms. It all changed. I watched my husband and our friends change too. Suddenly these ordinary men all turned into warriors. They were shouting, singing along, throwing their fists in the air (“to the SKYYYYYY!!”). They stood up straighter, pushing their chests out, and their eyes had a fire in them. Their chins pushed forward, and they seemed stronger, or at least they felt empowered. Suddenly, this was their “safe place”. They could be men. Full on alphas. This is something not generally acceptable in society anymore as masculinity has now been deemed “toxic”. As a woman, we’re supposed to cry rape and be afraid of these men. They’re dangerous! Let me tell you what, I haven’t ever felt so safe in a crowd! I think these men all ascended into this highly honorable place and that expectation of excellence and integrity was heightened. Suddenly, “violence” wasn’t a bad thing – it was an expression of frustrations with society. They could headbang, punch the air, move their body, shout as loud as they could and it was FINE! They didn’t have to apologize for being themselves because they were all like that. United in their frustration and the music brought them together. They also were insanely patriotic. Because a band from Sweden got them riled up and excited about America. They chanted “USA! USA! USA!” when Sabaton sang about Audie Murphy and Sergeant York.
I want my boys to be men. I don’t want to neuter them into some kind of “sweet man”. This steel and velvet was amazing to witness. I know my husband is kind. He is gentle and soft spoken. When he gets angry, it’s for a good reason. But he is a masculine man. I know he will raise our boys to be like that too! We need to allow men to have this violent escape and a safe place for them to act that way. This was the first metal concert I’ve been to, and it definitely will not be the last!
If America wants to be great again, these men are the way to do it. Awareness of military history will help people not to make the same mistakes. Women and men are different and that is GOOD. We need to allow men to be MEN! Manliness and masculinity! Hooray!
I left feeling hopeful that maybe, just maybe, these angry men will use their anger in a good righteous way. Anger and violence are good things. They’re not bad words, and we should use them to turn feelings into productivity.
Mamas of boys: encourage the violence in a healthy way, and if you’re a single mother, please please please see if you can find a male influence for your son. Your ability to mother is not in question. You’re an amazing mom. Whatever happened to you that made you a single mother is just the way it is. Help your son find an amazing man to mentor him. He will thank you later.
Fathers of boys: Teach your son (and yourself if necessary) to let the violence out in a safe way! I can’t really tell you how to do that because I am not a man.
My view! I didn’t get smooshed, hooray!
The Life of Elle 